bosan x???

sgt2 bosan.....ape ptt kte buat ek.....

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

Dinner yg jarang2 bole dpt...huhu...

Today is a rainy day…as I posted this, it is already 10.55 p.m Malaysia time…the rain has been falling since 4 p.m….not much could do when it is raining, except having a good nap…but, I really do enjoy watching rain….rainy day bring back memories and sometimes I smile alone thinking about things I done in the past….

Well, today I read her blog, just like every day I do, just to know what happening with her…well you see, I'm not a stalker, and I got no other way to know about her, since she refuses to reply to any text message I sent to her and don't ever will she to pick up my call…so I think through her blog, I can get to know about her recent condition and what really happenings with her daily life…

I know, things are not go easy as the way I would wish it to become to, and I believe neither do she wishing the same…and I know, both of us never wanted thing to be this way and none of us even make it worst…you know, it hurts when the person you care the most is outside of your reach, and most of the time whenever you trying to reach them, they refused to…that is what happening between both of us in the recent time….

It hurts, and it tears my heart apart whenever I read her blog, as she tells how much she having a bad day…I wish I would be there, together with her to help her to face every bad things that happened in her life…and it tears me apart, whenever she preferred to look for her buddies instead of me to spend her time with and share her story…. I know, she got the freedom to choose to hang out with whom but I, on the other hand always feeling guilty to do so…

You see, when you are in love, you will never find it amusing to hang out with someone else, as compared to your beloved ones…and now, when she no longer pick me, I feel really lost and I emptiness started to shadowing my life…I got chased by my own thoughts and my own memories…I find it hard to do anything without her and I find it impossible for me to go on without her around…. I'm weak, I really do need her support and it killing me inside when she, unintentionally spent her time with her friends, neglecting me and ignore me, and try to stay away as far as she can….

Sometimes, I just keep it deep down in my heart, as I know what she will respond to whenever I brought this up… I just wish she had a great happy life, even I need to sacrifice my own freedom and my own happiness…I just want to see her happy and I couldn't wish more…even if she need to hang out with some other guys, it's ok with me even deep down I blame myself for the reason why she never pick me, instead of her new friends…..I know, she blame herself for doing whatever she had done, and I already forgive her for doing so…

I hope, if she ever read this, I just want her to know that until today, I never lose my faith towards her…I know, I have done a lot of bad things to her along our relationship and I am trying to repent for whatever I have done…I know, it's hard to believe, but in my present case, I just wish you consider, and think carefully….what am I to you and what exactly me to you…I can never get through this without you and I really do need you in my life…I know, I'm no longer the one that you can rely on to hear you story, to share your problems and I am no longer the one that can bring you happiness…I know of my capabilities and incapability, and I know how much you hate I'm saying this but…I need you to know, that I really do love you, and I never let go...

p/s: you know how much I hate the idea of "finding someone else", because you already know that I really hate the idea of playing around with someone hearts for the sake of seeking for some relieve and happiness when you do such things to me….and you do realized how much I hate to break peoples heart, as I know how much it hurts…

What's your favorite video game?

nanyak sgt game nye kalo nk list kan, sbb smua game best....tp most of the time, byk spend time kat DotA...haha....sronok2....smua game pon best, kalo enjoy maen~ =)

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

anda rasa kebosanan x??

sgt2 bosan~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

~TrusT~

Trust…word that never been good to me…I used to trust people, but I ended up being betrayed…so many times, I am tired of counting the number of people I can trust and betrayal I'm facing…for a long time, I've been living not to put my trust in anyone…

For once, after a long time, I wanted to put my trust into someone…but sadly, she turned out to betray me as well…all the trust I put in her gone, just like the wind, leave without traces…I am sad, after for a long time I don't feel the betrayal now it right knocking on my nose…

You know, I always thought that I was the one…the only one that you can depend on, the one that you can rely on, and the one that you can trust the most…for once, I wanted to take off my mask and show you the real me…but, sadly, I don't even managed to show you what hiding behind the mask, you simply walk away…I fell so ashamed, I thought I was special, but I am not…I'm just another guy…

You always said I failed to understand you…well because you the same as me, both are wearing the mask…but there are different honey, when you choose to wear the mask and when you born to wear it….you are not the same as me, you choose to wear the mask to hide your true self, but I am living with the burden to bear with wearing it…for some time, I just feel like I'm letting go with all this mask thing and be true to you…

But, you never wanted me to…you wanted me to stay behind the mask…and I obey, as I blindly fall in love with you…and I trust you, for I believe you are my savior, who will be the one that will save me from the darkness of being me….once again, I put my trust on you and again….you break it just like that….over and over again, until there is nothing left…that is the value of my trust, simply like a trash to you…

~BeinG mE~

Being me…that's right…what so special of being me?? I'm just an ordinary guy…I woke up in the morning, done my prayers, stared outside the window and wish I had another great day…normal person, like any other else, wearing a mask that hide thousand reason of being me…

Being me? A lot…it is not describable by words…too many too speak of…I am nothing but I am many things…unpredictable, yet easy to read….easy to taunt, but not easy to conquer…there is a lot and there is none…I am thousand in a million yet I am millions of one…

You know, that is how being me…day by day I lived by wearing a mask that hide my true self…people see me every day, get in contact with me, approach me, leave me….all with the same thoughts, how great I am whenever I'm wearing the mask...people see me as a good friend, as a good listener, as a good advisor, a good person, who willing to do anything for the sake of his friends…I am the one that value friendship, that value the honor of being a great man, such things they said…

In fact, all of that is something that I want them to see from the mask, so that there will be no one would care to reveal the true self of me…I live in the bed of love from all of people around me, not afraid of being justified by them…I am jack of all trades, yet I am master at nothing…people see I'm good…really good they say….but that only on the outside…I approach people only with a purpose: get whatever I want, take whatever I can, and once I'm finish, I walk away…I live with the purpose of using others who appear in my life…

But that's the reality of life…we seldom said that we are human, live by a relationship, and we must value the relation….but once things gone bad, they turned their back on you….there is no longer friendship, no longer family, no longer siblings, there are no longer love accept hate…we are too civilized to accept some mistakes and forgive it…I by any chance, really good at adaptation, and persuasion…whenever I step my foot, I adapt quick, learn fast and blend well with surroundings…I learn in life how to forgive, but not to forget…we must not forget kind things people done to us, but at the same time we also never forget bad things people had done toward us…

I am forgiven…I forgive people easily, as live my life with ideology that I don't believe in anyone…I don't trust anyone, and I already know there is time people will stabbed me from the back, and people around me tends to turned their back on me…that's why I forgive them…it's not because I'm good person, it just because I pity them, pity the human being for being such a loser…people never accept their fault…whenever things doesn't go their way, they simply point their finger to others…I've been betrayed so many times, and I end up never put my trust on anyone…

For the first time, in my life, I wanted to put my trust on someone…someone that I think can be the savior from my deepest emptiness and loneliness…I'm alone even a lot are surrounding me, and I feel empty even there are full to be fill of….but being me, I don't easily accept people in my life and never will I put my trust on anyone…and for once, I gave someone my trust, and it end up being snatched away from me…

You see, for the rest of my time living, I always wanted to be someone that can be depend on, be the one that can people rely on, put their trust on and be the one that people can admit as someone that they can put their trust on...i know, I've done many bad things, and I am trying to repent….but not this time, as I enjoyed being me…

Have you ever feel being cheated by the person you loved the most??

Have you ever wonder why they do it, what are their reason and most importantly, why you?? Why you are the one that they choose to cheat, even though they know by doing that they actually hurts your feeling…

I don't know, lately I find myself getting used to it…every time we had a talk, I automatically set my mind that she actually lying to me, even though sometime whatever she said is the truth…well, I guess that the impact of telling lies…you spoil the faith I put on you and you disregard the believe I set on you…you broke the oath and you easily fail to keep telling the truth….i wonder, for what actually people tell lies…

Do lies help you to escape?? Do you lie just to keep me from any harm caused by the truth you try to keep under the rug?? Or do you ever think that by lying, you will be able to keep me smiling, and let things goes without saying a word??

NO NO NO….that will never happen, as you already know I never tolerate with people who tell lies…I don't know, you may have your own reason for lying to me, but I can tell you, for all the time we know each other, I never hide anything from you, at the beginning, I admit I also lies toward you, and I'm sorry, because you already know, that I NEVER BELIEVE ANYONE IN MY WHOLE LIFE….

For once, I has been able to put my trust and faith towards someone, and now you just simply take it away…walk away girl, turn around….you can run or hide from me, as I will always forgive you for whatever you have done, and I promised, I won't chased you, but remember, whenever lies you make, each of it will contain a bit of my wrath…you know it well, what will happen when I found out a lie, and both of us know to what extend I might react towards it…so be careful, I'm not warning you, but just reminding you how I hate people to tell lie, even when they are desperately to…

ape perlu kita buat klu tgh tension?

kalo sy, g tgk laot.....xpun men game n dgr lagu kuat2....tp plg berkesan bg sy adelah tidur....hehe~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

bpe jam kamoo mengahdap lptop kamoo setiap ari?

haha.....sehari ada 24 jam....8 jam total untuk saya tidur(tidur siang n tidur malam), 8 jam untuk ke kls@aktiviti luar, 3 jam total untuk makan, so balance tu ade depan laptop..ngeh2....(ade la lebih kurang 5 jam...huhu)

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

What's your favorite type of flower?

daffodil~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

What do you think about formspring.me so far?

it's fun...

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

What's your biggest phobia?

i'm afraid of losing someone that i loved and care the most....

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

What was the happiest moment in your life?

the happiest moment in my life is whenever i'm feeling happy...

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

What's the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?

let me fall in love with her.. =)

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

What's your favorite drink?

neslo ice~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

What's your favorite sport?

i am jack of all trades, but master at nothing... =)

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

ape awak suka?

saya suka makan....pastu saya suka tidur n of kos saya suka perempuan~ =)

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

anda sgt mnjwab soklan! da layak dah nk jd doc luv ni..hehe..neway tenkiuu!

haaa...ini bukan soalan, tp rase hepi dpt membantu...if ade pape lg tye je la yep....eden x kisah punyo~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

apa anda akan buat klu psgn anda tipu anda kaw2 pnya?

haha~soalan anda ini sgt ganas...xde mukaddimah da....kalau dia tipu kaw2 yeh....ade 3 bnda bole buat:
kalau niat jahat: tipu la dia semula...
kalau niat ade sikit jahat: maafkan dia tapi not that easy....
kalau niat terlalu baik: maafkan dia, and have faith...

pilih la mane2 yg sesuai...tp kalau saye la kan, sy akan cuba cari punca kenapa dia menipu sy and then try cari jalan penyelesaian terbaik...x semua org perfect n tipu sgt kalau seseorg xde sebarang masalah....dia menipu, maybe ada masalah dia yg dia mybe x brani nk kongsi...so cari jalan terbaik, menjalinkan hubungan memerlukan komitmen yang sgt tggi, kalau xde komitmen, lebih baik pasangan anda di pukul kuat2 oleh anda dan tgglkan saje beliau d tepi jalan.... =)

adakah sy menjawab persoalan anda??

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

result ok ke?^^

x ok pon....tp kalo dr segi lulus gagal tu da kira ok laa...huhu~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

What music are you listening to today?

eminem ft rihanna - love the way you lies

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

ape terjadi kalau bintang dan bulan hilang pada waktu malam??

hari mendung, nak hujan~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

~WheN YoU LovE mE, WheN YoU LovE mE NoT~

When you love me, I am your everything…. i am the one, and I am the only one…

But when you love me not, I'm no longer the one, no longer the one for your everything, and I'm no one to you….

 

When you love me, I am your guardian angel….whenever you in problem, you will find me…you will reach me in any manner possible just to let me know about you….

But now, when you love me not, there are no longer me as your guardian angel… I don't hear anything from you,, and you even asked somebody else to help you even I am available and capable of lending you a hand…

 

When you love me, most every time we spend to texting and chat with each other…if credits are not available, we chat through IM and emails…

Now, when you love me not, I hardly got any message from you….sometimes I text you to know your present condition but you just as silent as the night…no words, no news and nothing…not a reply and return back call….

 

When you love me, you enjoyed every time we hang out together….

But when you love me not, every time we date you always want to get home early…you asking me to be fast so that you won't return home late…that's find with me, but it tears my heart apart when you demand to get home early, just to not disappoint some guy friends of you from waiting…

 

Mention about waiting, when you love me, you can wait and tolerate if I am just late for <5 minutes….if I take longer than that, you will sulk with me and I enjoy the effort of mine in cool you down…

When you love me not, you not only wait for me, you even angrier than ever, regardless if I am late or early…it seems like when it comes to me, no matter you waited or not, I will get to face your wrath…

 

When you love me, you used to care for me….you make sure I eat my dinner and you make sure I take my medication until I heal perfectly….

But now, as I said, when you love me not, you don't even asked me anything…you no longer care of my feelings and sometimes, when I try to concern about you, you chased me away…

 

When you love me, everything I'm down, you are the one that rise me up…whenever I'm about to drown, you always be the one to resuscitate me….

When you love me not, whenever I need you, you always not there…when I finally found you, you always trying to escape…it sad when I realized you weren't there for me, but you where somewhere else for someone else…

 

When you love me, I feel like the world is mine…

But when you love me not, I feel the world around me crumbles…

 

When you love me, you really do love me…

When you love me not, I don't know if you still love me or you just keeping me as company just to be your fail safe plan..

 

(T__T)

anda suka melantak ape??

melantak makanan...by means makanan, ape je yg boleh d makan,selagi halal..ngeh3~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

anda xsuka makan ker??

x suka....sy suka melahap jek~x pun mentekedarah~ =)

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

testing2..ehem3..dalam byk2 hari, hari ape yg paling bosan...

testing3~dlm byk2 hari, hari ape yg plg bosan.....hari yg plg bosan ialah hari yg xtau nk buat ape,xleh nk buat ape n x dpt buat pape...huhu~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

awak kenal saya? haha! =p

kenal~kot....haha~

Tanyo lah papo pon...eden tak kesah punyo~

~BirthdaY PresenT~

waahhh.....this is the present(the one and only) present i get for my birthday this year.....i never expect to get something this special....very touched by the gift.....in time people seem don't know my birthday, there are few who really concern....love it and appreciate it very much, even i don't like to be celebrated....anyway, only picture left as i eaten up all the doughnuts by myself...haha~

 

p/s: thanx babe for the yummy gift and delicious treat...next time the honor will be mine...i promise..... =)

Life sometimes cannot be fair to us…we sometimes don't get what we wanted and things not usually go our way…but there always a reason behind it, just we never realized of it…I hope, one day I'm going to be able to understand what life is and start to move forward, regardless of whatever hardness and challenges I'm going to face….

i never ask for anything...enough just you be honest with me...it doesn't matter good or bad...just be honest.....i'm normal person with short fuse, i can easily lost my temper and i know i'm bad when i lost control of myself....but please consider....i just cannot stand to watch some other guys that u barely know hanging out with you instead of me....if that kind of guy you choose, so what will happen to me??

I know, he meant a lot to you, and I appreciate that he always there for you…I know, there are many things between us and I admit that I'm not that good to you all the time…I'm trying to be good and I try to make it up to you….i know, it is your freedom, it is your choice to do anything you ever wish, and I cannot step in any decision you make…but sometimes, you need to consider some important things that you cannot see in me…..

~HappY BirthdaY~

Well…happy birthday to me….sudah 22 tahun dah saya hidup….banyak benda yang saya dapat and belajar dari semua aspek dan dari semua jenis benda dan orang dan macam-macam dan banyak sungguh dan……anyway, sudah lengkap perjalanan hidup selama 22 tahun, saya berdoa supaya pada masa akan datang saya akan bertambah sihat dan diberi kesempatan untuk memastikan impian mak ayah saya tercapai, dan impian saya sendiri pon tercapai gak….semoga hidup saya sentiasa diberkati Allah SWT dan dilimpahi rahmat sentiasa…once again, happy birthday to me…aminn~

 

P/S: Thanx a lot babe…I got your message…really do appreciate it….nice pic…. (^__^)

~!~

I'm tired of chasing around shadows….i'm tired of chasing around memories…I'm tired of chasing around you….i'm tired of cry alone in the night…you know, it bothers me whenever you are away, and when you are not in front of me….i sat alone, holding your picture in my arms, staring at your never ending smiles really rips my heart apart….

 

Knowing you, I bet you also know me….even I try to know better, there are lot of things I cannot understand by just observing…I am human, I do really need an explanation to everything you do, and I really do need you to guide me to know you better…there are too little I understand and there is too many you keep in hide from me….

 

I hope you know that I always keep you in my heart…you are my heart, you are my soul, and you are my life….sometimes, it really do flatten me whenever I inviting you, you showing me a good response….even in the end, it never happened, but at least by showing your interest in the subject matter really makes my day….i know, if compared to my "competitors", I am nothing special….

 

One thing, I never able to understand is….why is it hard for me to admit that I am not yours anymore??even you keep repeat it to me, but I never get to understand….perhaps, by admitting this particular facts, I will be more clear on how things go with you….it really sad when what i planned not achievable, but it too much too admit that you turn me down for someone else…now it really do hurts, as all those things goes smoothly under my nose because it was covered with lies…well, I love the way you lies….thank you very much….

 

Now I know we said things did things that we never meant and now we fall back into the same pattern, same routine….your temper as just bad as mine is, you the same as me when it come to love you just as blinded….

Manusia….kita selalu akan melakukan perkara-perkara di luar dugaan apabila kita tengah sedih, kecewa, marah, tertekan, muram dan kadangkala gembira juga buat kita tak sedar kita telah melakukan sesuatu yang di luar jangkaan kita sendiri….tapi itu lah manusia, bila sudah berlalu, baru nak menyesal….harap-harap kali ini apa yang saya lakukan ini betul…Ya Allah, tunjukkanlah hamba-Mu ini jalan penyelesaian terbaik….

-(T_T)-

~JikA BenaR CintA iTu ButA~

Berapa lamakah lagi

Terpaksa aku menanti

Sehingga teguhnya

Pendirian, di hati…

 

Bukan hanya kepentingan

Malahan keegoan

Telah ku korbankan

Berlimpahan kasih sayang

Aku curahkan

Buatmu seorang

 

Kiranya semua itu

Tak memadai bagimu

Apa sebenarnya

Yang kau mahu

Ku tak tahu

 

Kau hilang bila ku tiba

Kau dating bila ku kecewa

Terasa diri dipersenda

Bilakah berakhirnya nanti

Permainan sandiwaramu ini

Sesungguhnya aku

Tak mengerti

 

Jika benar cinta itu buta

Butakah mataku??

Berkali terluka masih jua

Ku menunggu

Apa yang ku inginkan

Cuma kejujuran dalam percintaan

 

Jika itu tiada

Apalah ertinya

Penantian ini

Hanya sia-sia

 

~DecembeR~

December has come again….yet; I usually spend my December at home with my family (because we Malaysians always had educational facilities break at the end of the year)…but this time, for the year of 2010, it is a different one…make it very special I guessed…for the first time ever, I can enjoy a December full of classes, a December with my friends instead of my family, and then a December with rainy almost the whole day….oh did I tell you how much I love rain so much??it just like watching the whole world crying with you…it a nice feeling, and somehow I feel better because of it…

 

Well, this December also make a difference…for the first time ever in my life, I will having my birthday during school term….for 22 years I lived, never had a year of spending time with teachers and friends for my birthday bash (as my birthday fall on December (T_T)… ), this is the first time I get present and surprise party from my friends (maybe…I wish I had one)…this very month also I witnessed my friends wedding, my sister newborn baby, my elder sister engagement, and lot of family bonding among my relatives and friends to be mentioned.

 

So, if you asking me about December, it kind of remarkable to me, as I always get reminded how much I have grown, how much I have been hurt, how much I have been betrayed, how much I failed, how much I fall, how much I rise, how much I success, how much I get from the whole year full of surprise, and how matured I was….

 

Ya Allah, I wish I will have another year full of your blessing and I always seek your forgiveness, for all the sin I've done….

~I WisH I CoulD bE HappY~

Yeah….i wish I could be happy…having all the things I wanted and live my life as the way I want….meet a lot of people, buy me self cool stuffs, eat delicious food, have a healthy body, having a wonderful family, a wonderful house, a powerful vehicle, an empire, and of course a lovely wive….

 

I wish I could be happy….life is not always as we planned it is, but it still can make us enjoy it….somehow, it is good to have your plan ruined by the reason you never know…because we always promised that Allah S.W.T have better planning for us…I hope what I'm going through will make me a better person…amin for that….

 

I wish I could be happy….all my time in my life, I dedicated to live my life the way it should be….be a faithful son, be a responsible brother and be a handful friend….i being loyal subject to my country and also my believes, as I do believe what should I believe in….i live all my lifetime to fulfill what I have been assigned to, to be a khalifah in this world….

 

I wish I could be happy….i never complained of anything that against my will, I just regret that it never as I expected…but I must be positive, keep things positive and move on…that is life, being noble and humble, only focusing on our life…we never know what will happened next, even in a split second, so we must appreciate our life before it ends…

 

I wish…..i could be happy…….

Haha….seems to me I haven't written anything for a while…I'm sorry, been bit busy lately….don't worry, give me some time, and I write soon….just be patient okay…. (^_^)

~A SonG tO RemembeR~

Some days I sit

Staring at the window

Watching this world pass me by

Sometimes I think

There's nothing to live for

I almost break down and cry

 

Sometimes I think I'm crazy

I'm crazy oh so crazy

Why am I here?

Am I just wasting my time?

 

But then I see my baby

Suddenly I'm not crazy

It all makes sense

When I look into her eyes

 

Sometimes it feels like

The world's on my shoulder

Everyone's leaning on me

Cause sometimes it feels like

The world's almost over

But then she comes back to me

 

My baby girl

Keeps singing louder

I watch her grow up with pride

People make jokes

Cause they don't understand me

They just don't see my real side

 

I act like shit don't faze me

Inside it drive me crazy

My insecurities could eat me alive

 

Now you probably get this picture

From my public persona

That I'm a pistol-packing drug addict

Who bags on his mama

But I wanna just take this time out

To be perfectly honest

Cause there's a lot of shit

I keep bottled that hurts

Deep inside of my soul

 

And just know that I grow colder

The older I grow

This boulder on my shoulder

Gets heavy and harder to hold

And this load is like the weight of the world

And I think my neck is breaking

Should I just give up?

Or try to live up

To these expectation

 

Now look, I love my girlfriend

More than life in herself

But I got enemies that's determined

To make my life living hell

But I handled it well

Given the circumstances I'm dealt

So many chances man

It's too bad

Could had someone else

 

But the years that I've wasted are

Nothing to tears that I've tasted

So here's what I'm facing:

3 felonies, 6 years of probation

I've went to jail for this woman

I've been to bat for this woman

I've taken bats to people backs

Bent over backwards

For this woman

 

But that's it, it's over

There's no more reason

To cry no more

I got my baby

The only lady I adore faithfully

So sayonara try tomorrow

Nice to know you

My baby travelled back to arms of

Her rightful owner

And suddenly it seems that

My shoulder blades have just shifted

It's like the greatest gift

You can get

The weight have been lifted

 

I LOVE YOU, WITH ALL MY HEART…

~VersE 1~

I woke up from a dream today

I jumped off my bed and I stare to the ceiling

I got this chilly feeling

Spread up my spine

To the head

To the brain

To the ear

Flowing tear to my eyes

It's not fear

That I feel

For that time

It was real

And I know it

I blown it

I pushed it

I engulfed it

I spit it

Away

So that it never bother me in anyway

Anyway

There is so many way

Why we are on the same way

Just like yesterday

Yesterday is over

Today is a new day

The day still isn't over

For us to realize thing

Fix thing

Made up for our mistakes

It's not mistakes that fear us

It our mind

Mind of being blown away

Like I was holding a shot gun

Aim to my head

I'm losing the rhyme

But I just hit it

Play it

Wind it

So it sound like a rhyme

Even though I know it is crime

I'm going to a shock

Now I'm reaching the for glock

I try to shoot them

But the music stops

~TaK SepertI SayA~

Saya tahu, dia jauh lebik kacak dan mempunyai daya tarikan,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA…

 

Saya tahu, dia anak orang berada,

Punya banyak wang,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA…

 

Saya tahu, dia pandai bergaya,

Memakai pakaian cantik-cantik dan jam berjenama,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA…

 

Saya tahu, dia memiliki kenderaan mewah untuk kegunaan harian,

Dengan enjin turbo dan custom made,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA….

 

Saya tahu, dia mampu menawan hati kamu,

Hanya dengan jelingan matanya,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA

 

TAPI

 

Saya tahu, dia bukan sayangkan kamu,

Kamu hanyalah sekadar mengisi masa terluangnya,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA…

 

Saya tahu, dia memiliki hubungan intim dengan ramai wanita

Di belakang kamu, tanpa kamu sedari dan ketahui,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA…

 

Saya tahu, dia seorang perokok tegar,

Dan kamu alah kepada asap rokok,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA…

 

Saya tahu, dia selalu mengabaikan amal ibadat,

Sentiasa melakukan maksiat,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA…

 

PALING PENTING….

 

TAK SEPERTI SAYA,

Lelaki itu tidak pernah mencintai kamu sepenuh hatinya,

Tidak sanggup berkorban apapun demi kamu,

Tidak mungkin berniat baik terhadap kamu,

Menganggap kamu sebagai pemuas nafsu dan

Peneman dikala bosan,

TAK SEPERTI SAYA…

 

=]

~BukaN NiaT Mu~

Memang bukan niat mu melukakan hatiku

Dalam bermacam-macam alasan dalam dunia nih

Tiada satu pun darinya boleh dijadikan sebab untuk ku membencimu

NO….i can't forget anything about you….

 

Ku tahu diriku tidak layak buatmu

Dalam bermacam-macam perempuan dalam dunia nih

Tiada satu pun yang dapat memenuhi criteria seperti mu

Yang boleh ku agungkan sebagai permaisuri hatiku

NO….i can't forget anything about you…

 

Ku tahu selama kita bersama, banyak yang telah kita lalui….

Dan bagimu itu semua tidak bermakna….

Dalam banyak-banyak kenangan yang ku lalui sepanjang hidupku di dunia ini

Tak mungkin ku dapat teruskan kehidupan dengan melupuskan segala ingatan ku bersama mu…

NO…I can't just forget everything about you…

 

Maafkan diriku

Percayalah, hidupku akan lebih manis denganmu di sisi ku

Bila mu gembira, ku 100x ganda lebih gembira

Dan ingatlah,

Bila mu terluka, 1000x kesakitan yang ku rasa

Aku sayang kamu….

 

Always….

 

Jangan tingglkan diriku kesepian keseorangan…..

I love you, and that's it….love whoever you want, as many as you want…I won't bother anymore….you always know I never take anything for granted…I feel sorry for those who fall for me….I already choose you, blindly without thinking that you might not be choosing me…. I know, I'm just piece of trash that you never want in your life, but please, at least I need some comfort and care from you, in my present situation….you left me hurting myself while other bask with your love…. I know you, but I don't know you well enough…perhaps you never consider of knowing me, because if you really knew me, then you should know what might happen if this goes on…. I'm missing the old me, and yet I miss the old you, even it is the worst ever person ever walked in this world….well, you always said that if I can't handle you at your worst, then sure hell I don't deserve you at your best….for me, if you can't handle me at my best, then sure hell you never will can handle me at my worst…mark my words…..

If I could turn back the time, and get back into the past, I will go and see my past self and congratulate me, for making the right decision, which is falling in love with you…. =)

~Strange?~

Pelik ke kalau ada orang yang sanggup buat ape saje demi nak kecapi kebahagiaan? Pelik ke kalau ada orang sanggup bunuh kawan demi keselamatan? Pelik jugak ke kalau ada orang sanggup mati demi nak tegakkan pendirian dia…. Dan pelik ke kalau ada yang sanggup mati hanya sebab cintakan seseorang??

It's strange when people ask me those question…err…pelik sangat ke?? Tak kot…ade je orang yang sanggup buat macam tu…demi kehidupan…kadang-kadang kita tak mintak pon benda jadi sampai macam tu…tapi pemikiran manusia, kita tak pernah nak nilai keburukan dan kelemahan kita, tapi selalu mencari kelemahan dan kesalahan orang lain…

Pelik, memang pelik…kadang-kadang kita berubah atas kehendak kita sendiri, tak kesah lah atas tujuan ape pun…tapi perubahan tu kita sendiri yang tentukan, dan kita jugak yang decide perubahan tu sampai tahap mana….pelik ke kalau seseorang tu berubah?? Tidak, tidak sama sekali….perubahan adalah pilihan, dan pilihan adalah perkara yang subjektif….

Pelik, mungkin pelik…tapi pelik macam mana pun, kita kena always tahu dan always ingat, life is a total mess…

**hari ni bahasa rojak kerana perasaan bercampur baur…harap maaf~**

~LieS~

Lies…lie is a must in human life…why? Because lie drives us forward…but why lie? To satisfy the one we lied? To escape from any form of punishment? To save our butt? Or to simply make an excuse to ourself? All are possibility of lying….but why lie??

I used to lie once…not once, many time I've done it…I know it's bad to lie, and I regret myself for lying…but because I know the feel of being lied to, I managed to control my lies…carefully lie so one gonna get hurt and those lie satisfied all person involved….but still, why lie??

I know, it's hard to accept when someone are lying to us, especially the one we loved the most…sometimes, they said like this, but done it like that…action show differently than said…well said, but still lie is the best option to satisfy people…

Sometimes, I used lie to comfort people, even me myself need comforts from others…there also time I need to lie to satisfy myself, so that I never think something bad and stupid, just to prevent me from doing something bad….but why lie, even I can tell the truth to myself??

Lie are lie, there are no arguing about it….i hate being lied to, so I try as good as I can for not telling lies to people…I hate when you lied to me, even I already know that was a lie….i don't know, maybe I loved the way you lie, that's why….

Enough lying…I'm tired of this game….your lie gotten rotten day by day…you act differently than what you said….you lie again…you promise me…promise are made to be broken…yet you still lie, yet you still promise…promise is a lie, and lie is also a promise…I promise you, no more lie, but believe me, I was lying to you…you were lying to me, it's ok, as I know the lie not bring us to no where….

~TentativE~

Superstition taking all of us for a ride

Mimes overtaken by the signs of the "Right"

The bombs are falling overhead with no sight

While you are talking all detached,

So tell us

 

"Where're you going?"

To the bottom

Do you hear us?

We are rotting

 

We're going down

In a spiral to the ground

No one

No one's gonna save us now

 

Ceremonies have killed religions for they provide

The masked comforts to delusional

They're all in fright

The true believer's head was bathed in sunlight

While you are walking all detached,

So tell us

 

"Where're you going?"

To the bottom

Do you hear us?

We are rotting

 

We're going down

In a spiral to the ground

No one

No one's gonna save us now

Not even GOD

No one saved us

No one's gonna save us now

 

Where do you expect us to go when the bombs fall?

Where do you expect us to go when the bombs fall?

Where do you expect them to go when the bombs fall?

Where do you expect us to go when the bombs fall?

 

Superstition taking us all for a ride

Mimes overtaken by the sign of the "Right"

The bombs are falling overhead with no sight

While you are talking all

Detached, detached, detached, detached, detached

 

Going down

In a spiral to the ground

No one

No one's gonna save us now

Not even GOD

No one saved us

No one saved us

No one saved us

No one's gonna save us now

 

Where do you expect us to go when the bombs fall?

~>_<~

Haiz…susah sangat ke nak reply mesej…. Nak return call pon susah agaknya….dulu-dulu, time awal-awal dulu, saya selalu dah kena maki, kena marah….

"Buat apa ada henset mahal-mahal kalau tak boleh nak answer call and reply mesej….baik campak je dalam longkang!!!"

Well, skrg da dapat merasai ape makna intipati ayat makian tu….i know I'm wrong, I've done so much wrong thing in my life, towards you especially…tapi ape la salah nak reply mesej or return semula call….just nak tahu kamu ok ke tak, selamat ke tak…dah la call tak angkat, mesej tak reply, pastu bole pulak off henset…tak pe la, sape je saye ni pada anda….anda cenderawasih, turun ke tanah hanya untuk menghina saya si gagak cacat dan hina….harap-harap kamu selamat…maafkan saya….sudah tak tau macam mana nak sampaikan kerisauan pada kamu… ='(

~FinallY~

setelah beberapa hari hujan, perlis sudah naik air....mak eh, banjir sudah perlis ni....selama dok 4 taun, 1st time rase banjir kat perlis...keadaan agak teruk sekarang ni...ramai yang da kena evacuate keluar dari pelis nih...hope diorang selamat sampai ke pangkuan keluarga....

 

for me, seems keadaan da makin ok....sikit.....wish nak stay lagi kat sini...ramai gak orang kondem, xkan nk tunggu worst condition ever baru nak blah kot...tapi ape bole buat, i have more important matter to give attention to, so sorry la kalo aku x leh nk ikot korang same blah dari negeri kayangan ni kan....

 

pape pon, line tenet da ok, and i can get online again....hopefully things get well soon.....

 

p/s; dear M, harap2 u slamat la smpai kat umah....n jauhkan diri dari kobis, kerana kobis itu luar nmpk ok, dalam x tau ade ulat ke x...u know what i mean....i love you, please take good care...and don't worry about me, i'm survivor so just care about yourself first....i really do care for you, so please...take very good care f yourself... :(

~TriaL, tO geT MarrieD???~

Well, I just read one of my friends blog…she said that she is damn serious, she want to get married early….i wished I was the one, but it depends on her parent…wah, I never thought it will be this hard…facing her parent is one thing I rather not to, as her father is really careful on whoever she close to…but I decided, I give it a try….if it's ok, I will do it, even it require my eternity and soul… J

~Saturday: 30/10/2010~

Today is Saturday….just like the other Saturday I ever faced….but no one never what might come afterward…even me, the one who always thought I planned my own activity….

Today, it has been a while…she asking me out, where I always wished for the whole time….even shocked a bit, I quickly agreed, without thinking much…yes, for her, I never think twice…I just do what my heart say and I strictly obey….

Sharp on my clock, 5.35 p.m….rains start to pour, and I almost get soaked before I reached my friend bike….I almost bang mu fist to wall as it seem that my plan ruined, but I manage to hold myself back and think about it over….luckily, after 10 minutes of waiting, the rain begin to stop….I quickly get the key out of my pocket and starts the engine….in a matter of minutes, I was on the way to pick her up….

It's been hard for me, as the journey not as smooth as I wish for….i was chased by rain and the rain chased by me….I take about 3 stops to reach her, and I get soaked a little in the rain, but it never stopped me, as I can see she is faithfully smiling at me, waiting for me to come….

Well, we enjoyed the whole evening….we go whenever we want to and we managed to buy what we are looking for, even some of the goods aren't that good and off the list….have a wonderful dinner at Pizza Hut® and then spend most of time at the beach, enjoying a peaceful environment…

Babe, I know we been through a lot, and I know you have undergone more pain than I do….i wish that you stay strong, in whatever condition because I can't afford to lose you….i know, I've been bad lately and I wish I can quickly be by your side again…I always pray for your happiness and I wished someday you find the path you are looking for…

Just remember babe, if whatever happened in the future, just remember, you always had me….i love you too damn much…..

~I LovE ThE WaY YoU LiE~

This is a song sung by both EMINEM and RIHANNA, my all time favorite singer….this song, somehow really represent my condition right now…that's why I love this song…. =)

 

***

Just gonna stand there

And watch me burn

But that's alright

Because I like the way it hurts

Just gonna stand there

And hear me cry

But that's alright

Because I love

The way you lie

I love the way you lie

I love the way you lie

 

I can't tell you what really it is

I can only tell you what it feels like

And right now there's a steel knife

In my windpipe

I can't breathe

But I still fight

While I can fight

As long as the wrong feels right

It's like I'm in flight

High of a love

Drunk from the hate

It's like I'm huffing paint

And I love it the more that I suffer

I suffocate

And right before I'm about to drown

She resuscitates me

She fucking hates me

And I love it

Wait

Where you going

"I'm leaving you"

No you ain't

Come back

We're running right back

Here we go again

It's so insane

Cause when it's going good

It's going great

I'm Superman

With the wind in his bag

She's Lois Lane

But when it's bad

It's awful

I feel so ashamed

I snap

"Who's that dude?"

"I don't even know his name"

I laid hands on her

I'll never stoop so low again

I guess I don't know my own strength

 

***

 

You ever love somebody so much

You can barely breathe

When you're with them

You meet

And neither one of you

Even know what hit 'em

Got that warm fuzzy feeling

Yeah them chills

Used to get 'em

Now you're getting fucking sick

Of looking at 'em

You swore you've never hit 'em

Never do anything to hurt 'em

Now you're in each other's face

Spewing venom

And these words

When you spit 'em

You push

You pull each other's hair

Scratch, claw, bite 'em

Throw 'em down

Pin 'em

So lost in the moments

When you're in 'em

It's the rage that took over

It controls you both

So they say it's best

To go your separate ways

Guess that they don't know you

Cause today

That was yesterday

Yesterday is over

It's a different day

Sound like broken records

Playing over

But you promised her

Next time you'll show restraint

You don't get another chance

Life is no Nintendo game

But you lied again

Now you get to watch her leave

Out the window

Guess that's why they call it window pane

 

***

 

Now I know we said things

Did things

That we didn't mean

And we fall back

Into the same patterns

Same routine

But your temper's just as bad

As mine is

You're the same as me

But when it comes to love

You're just as blinded

Baby please came back

It wasn't you

Baby it was me

Maybe our relationship

Isn't as crazy as it seems

Maybe that's what happens

When a tornado meets a volcano

All I know is

I love you too much

To walk away though

Come inside

Pick up your bags off the sidewalk

Don't you hear sincerity

In my voice when I talk

Told you this is my fault

Look me in the eyeball

Next time I'm pissed

I'll aim my fist

At the dry wall

Next time

There will be no next time

I apologize

Even though I know it's lies

I'm tired of the games

I just want her back

I know I'm a liar

If she ever tries to fucking leave again

I'm gonna tie her to the bed

And set the house on fire

Just gonna

***

~EveninG~

Today, 29 October 2009….i woke up early in the morning just to find out I nearly miss a replacement class…but things go well, I manage to attend to the class, meeting with my co-supervisor for my FYP and then pay a visit to tutorial lecturer to collect assignment and tutorials…go to weekly Jumaat pray and then end of my mid day in front of my laptop….

Evening, in the evening, where everything become so weird….i soon realize I was standing at the edge of Kuala Perlis jetty, waving pointlessly towards my friend departure…soon came to notice, since 3 o clock today I already seen departure a lot of my friends….well, I admit I don't appreciate them much, but they are pieces in my life, and my life wouldn't be complete without them….

Well, it's never been easy to control one's emotion…. I slowly ride my friend bike after sending the third guy for today, and watching them happily to get home soon…. I don't know, nothing in particular come up in my mind, and I feel like riding without anyone else on the road….gladly, there's not much vehicle so that I don't involve in anything bad….but I still cannot figure out the weird feeling I get since the last guy depart…

At the exact 6.15 p.m., after 15 minutes of riding a slow motion bike (it's not the bike is slow, but I accelerate it slowly), I finally reach my campus…but I don't know, usually I managed to get over the guard, but I don't know what happen with me, I just stopped right in front of them and doing everything they asked me to…

Then I realized, I was holding a paper with writing in black and my signature on it….yes, it is a ticket, issued by the campus guard to me, charging me with a stupid mistake….he just issued me RM 50 for not displaying student sticker on the bike….well, this is strange….so far I used my friend bike, the sticker are always there…but it strange this evening the sticker not there anymore, and I am unfortunate to run into the guards without the sticker on…

I try to explain, and I guess my explanation is reasonable…the sticker was there, and there's no mistaking it…but how should I know if it had been picked by another vehicle owner who are too hard to pay RM 5 for a sticker….and I don't know what happen to myself, usually I will argue until I got no point, but this evening I easily obeyed the guards….

While holding the ticket, I watched myself in the mirror….what could be wrong I've done today, because I feel really empty inside out…. I see my friend departure, I go to class, I get summoned, but no feeling inside of me….there is no joy, no happiness, no sadness, no angry and madness, nothing….i just feel nothing….

At 9.50 p.m., I send another guy to depart…well, he treat me with KFC, which I never expect from him, and got back to campus….still, there is no mood come to me….i got visit from my friends which have been long I seen him, and still, I don't feel anything….we talked, we laughed, we eat, we walked, but I still feel empty….

The whole night, I spend on playing DotA, a game that I always play during my free time…and this time, I no play alone, but with few leftover friend of mine…even we lose and win consecutively, I don't know why, but I did not enjoy tonight games.…

Well, up until now, as I am typing my next words of this post, I still haven't feel anything, even it already 4.57 a.m. (based on my clock)….well I guess I stop it right here, as my eyes are blinking weakly and still, I got no intention and feel to sleep….but I guess this where I bid goodbye, so see ya next time…today evening has been a weirdest evening of my life…. =)

I wish, someday I could put an end toward this, as I know you already tired of me being shadowing you…I'm sorry, I just couldn't stand still and watch…..

I don't know…I couldn't see things as through as before….I don't know what is missing, and what is wrong with me….I can't think straight anymore…you know, whenever you saying being you was never easy, I find it much harder to understand you, more than anything…I wish I knew….I thought I know you everything, but it seems I never know you enough…

Well…now I don't know if I am on the wrong path…. I admit I choose to stay, and I hope I'll stick to it….but somewhere, somehow you are backstabbing me and I really hurt by the pain… you see, whatever you do, I never complained and I never objected, as it fines with me as long as you are happy with it…. I hurt, and I cry alone in the night…I know you never wanted this part of me, but I can't help it since I only have you in my life…

I wish someday you will be good enough, changed already, and find out your inner self….I wish I can accompany you along your way, till the very end of me, but it seems you never wanted me anymore….you had your life, and you should appreciate every bit of it, and let your memory of me die along when I'm gone….

I wish I'm stayed, and I really want to….but it can't be helped if you never ever wanted to, and you already know, I really hate to make you do something you never intended and never will to do….Go on, live a happy life babe….don't let me shadowing your life…I'm only your past, not your present and never will be your future….

Live happily, be good and take really good care of yourself….I love so very damn much, from the bottom of my heart….don't worry, even if I'm not around, I can always be your guardian angel, even I'm not supposed to…farewell…………………………..

~PicturE~

Picture…what's with picture? I don't know…all I know picture is one way of preserving memories…yup, to keep a sweet memory of something that we will be missed in the future…it's nice to take pics, just need a camera, pose and then snap! Finished…you got yourself a picture of something you want to keep…

I love taking pictures…there's a lot of it actually…but I don't know, I felt it very wrong to post it here or uploaded into any open networking account such as Facebook, Tagged, Hi-5, Myspace, Friendster, etc….i know, the function of those picture are to let someone recognize us, and as identification purposes…

But to me, it seems like revealing ourselves to outsider and total stranger….we never know them exactly as their nature….human is well known of lying….lies is what people are really good at…somehow I feel uploading my pics will put me in a grave danger…maybe I'm just paranoid, but it is the truth and I want to keep it that way…

In fact, much of us never realized…especially girls….you know, there are rules to wear clothes and guidelines are stated clearly in al-Quran, and I hope whoever read this realized it well….well, you see….it's good to have your picture in your Fb or whatsoever social website you joined, but have you ever consider any sin you done before your eyes??

I tell you what….let say, you uploaded one pic of your new haircut….just to tell you love your new haircut, and it reached the objective as people seeing it know that you are telling them that you just having a new haircut and you loved it very much…but, have you ever realized, that pic is opened to public and anyone can see it…how??

Simple…you uploaded it and you brag about it….some of your friend view it, and tell their friends…and their friend spread it more through another friends of theirs and so on until it spread out wide across the world….

For your information, revealing your hair to men which is not your father, brothers or relatives are totally prohibited….it stated in al-Quran, that you will suffer several years in hell for just a piece of your hair seen by a pair of eyes…imagine, one hair per eyes cost you several years…if you upload a pic of your new haircut, just how much your hair revealed that you think??? Thousand?? Try to multiply it with hundreds of people that just admiring your new haircut…..

I hope you can understand what I'm saying…it not only for a free hair pic, same goes to pic of you in which you wearing a shirt that showing your body shape, short sleeve shirt, your sister shirt and whatsoever shirt that revealing yourself to a men is count as same….

Think about it, and make a move…I'm just telling you the truth, no hard feelings…hope you understand….even this don't apply to men, but men also has their own guidance in showing pic of themselves….but, like I suggested, remove those pic which you think improper to be uploaded and keep a nice pic in a suitable dress…

And also remember, never let your boyfriend have your private photo….free hair or half naked, or sexy and exotic, even a nice photo with sweet smile, please don't…because they can used it against you if things don't go their way…believe me, I've seen much among my friends….

So ladies, please be careful…don't let yourself be a victim just because of a "Picture" =)

~LetteR tO ~M~

It's been a while….since the last time that I saw your pretty face….it's nice seeing you….being up all good except those expression….the expression of never ending tired…..i know, lately both of us have been busy, and lately we are no more having our normal conversation….well, it's good to see you alive, happy and most importantly, cheerful….

I know, you been through many things this year, so do I…living without you by my side seems to be the worse ever condition I ever had….really wish that someday you will stand by me once again, and I always pray for that….above all, I always pray for your well being and happily ever after…that's all I'm asking….

Today, I see what you write about what happened yesterday…it's been a boring day, I admit it but I even gain a priceless knowledge….but, it still hurts me deep inside knowing you still got the same problems….i wish I can erased all that, and we can start a new beginning….

I wish that someday you manage to change, to be the one you should be…I know, it's never been easy….but at least try…I hardly see any effort you make, cause day by day I can only see things getting worse and worse, and seem like never ending….i can change so I believe you also can….

I always has faith in you…even whatever mess you in…I always have faith with you….it's nice talking to you, even given a shorter time and chances, I still glad I can make out a word or two to you…well babe, I really missed our old days, and I wish you feel the same, because right know, your heart keep telling you that we are no longer connected….we don't have any connection you say….well, I know you sad to see someone which is fading away from you, but it hurt me most to see you sad for someone else other than me….

Well, I guess that's all for now…I wish that I could be there with you when you are out there alone with the sea, because it the only place both of us approved for releasing our tension….well babe, please take good care of yourself and be good in whatever you do…even I'm no longer someone to you, bear in mind that you always the best in me…

~HarI BahagiA~

Huhu….beberapa hari lepas, tanggal 17 Oktober 2010, maka lahir la seorang putera hasil perkahwinan kakak saya yang nombor 2…setelah 10 bulan mendirikan rumah tangga, sampai la masa nya keluarga ini menyambut kehadiran bayi lelaki pertama, di mana pertama dari segi:

1. Mak n abah akan d panggil tok n tok wan
   
2. Along jadi mak long n pak long
   
3. Adik2 angah akan jadi pakcik n makcik
   
4. Kitorang da ade anak buah
   

Haa..sungguh bahagia…teringin nk tengok putera tersebut, tapi tak tau la bila dapat pulang…huhu~

 

Tarikh ini sangat significant pada saya, as pada 10 oktober along bertunang, pada 9 oktober kawan baik saya mendirikan rumah tangga, 18 oktober tarikh merdeka student tahun 4 batch ke 2 PPK BIOPROSES dan 10 october, ehem ehem saya punya ehem ehem special ehem day ehem ehem di mana saya ehem ehem berjumpa dengan ehem ehem permaisuri ehem ehem ehem...

 

Tu je la…takde pape nak tulis sangat sebenarnye….

Pai2

p/s: I never know u would love coffee….

~YoU & I~

I lose control

Because of you babe

I lose control

When you look at me like this

There's something in your eyes

That is saying tonight

I'm not a child anymore

Life has opened the doors

To a new exciting life

 

It's all written down

In your life lines

It's written down

Inside your heart

 

You and I

Just have a dream

To find a our love a place

Where we can hide away

 

I lose control

When I'm close to you babe

I lose control

Don't look at me like this

There's something in your eyes

Is this love at first sight

Like a flowers that grows

Life just wants you to know

All the secrets of life

 

I lose control

Because of you babe

I lose control

Don't look at me like this

There's something in your eyes

That is saying tonight

I'm so curious for more

Like never before

In my innocent life

 

It's all written down

In your life lines

It's written down

Inside your heart

 

You and I

Were just made

To love each other now

Forever and a day

 

Time stand stills

When the day of innocence

Are falling for the night

I love you girl I always will

I swear I'm there for you

Till the day I die…

~ThE WinD oF ChangE~

Take me….to the magic of the moment on a glory night….where the children of tomorrow dream away…in the wind of change….

 

Love this song from The Scorpions….the wind of change eh…people do change….changes are inevitable don't they?? Seeing a lot of people today, when we meet again, they may not be the same as we met them before….that's change….it doesn't matter change in shape or physically, or behavior or language, slang, whatever it is….we still can detect a change in ourselves and others…

 

Judgment…we always judged people around us….good or bad, kind or devil, sweet or bitter…we like to judge…and this judgment does not bring us anywhere, but back to the point like a circle….goes round and round…

 

I wish I could change a bit…be a person where people can accept and be the one that accept others….slightly changes does not require much effort they say, but changes are hard to do in the first place…why it is hard??because we choose not to….choose, is another inevitable thing in this world…change is always a choice, but choices also a change…in order to change, we need to make choices and making choices require us to change…

 

So, choose to change but don't change the choice…once broken, it never be mend like the original 1… =)

~InviteD OnlY!!~

Hai2….salam lebaran semua….

Da lame tak bukak blog ni…

Tapi harini, nak buat entry marah2 emosional tentang benda yang tak patut terjadi…

Pernah tak kalu korang semua bukak blog yang korang suka bace, sampai korang siap bookmark blog tu,

Tapi ape perasaan korang bila one day, blog yang korang suka sangat bace tu tiba2 dia letak sebagai private blog…

Tricky isn't it??

Kadang2, org akan privatekan blog kalo nak buat maintenance or ade la nak touch up2 diorang punye blog….

Tapi, kalo stakat nak private and kasi sendiri bace,baik x yah buat blog….

Tulis je la dalam buku diari or henset or laptop peribadi…

Tak perlu kot nak publish kat blog, tapi tak bagi orang baca…

Blog ialah tempat untuk orang2 berkongsi idea pendapat common interest and luahkan perasaan…

Tapi kalo setakat tulis, update, pastu sendiri bace baik la simpan dalam buku latihan yang 60 sen satu tu…

Apa guna teknologi kalo disalah ertikan….

Dah la merapu…hari ni puasa, so tak bole nak carut lebih…haaa~

See you again next time…

Papai~

~PulanG~

Yey~

Suda mahu pulang ke kampung halaman

Seronok rasanya

Dapat pulang beraya di kampung…

Berapa lama ye

Hampir-hampir 6 bulan tak berada di rumah

Seronok berganda

Sebab rindu pada sayang emak

Rindu pada tegas ayah

Rindu pada sporting kakak

Rindu pada gila abang

Rindu pada adik-adik kecil yang comel2

Serta rindu pada katil kesayangan

 

Dan juga, saya rindu pada kamu yang jauh di sana

Berada sangat jauh

Bukan setakat kedudukan

Di hati jua terasa jauh

Tapi tak mengapa

Gunaka masa yang ada sepenuhnya

Pulang ke kampung halaman akan digunakan

Untuk "rehabilitate"

Dan juga "revitalize"

Nak cari semula kekuatan

Dan mengganti semangat yang hampir musnah

Akibat tekanan kerja dan kehidupan

 

Kepada rakan2 yang membaca post di blog ini

Saya ingin memohon seribu kemaafan

Andai ada perbuatan atau percakapan saya

Telah melukakan hati anda2 semua

Serta

Pada yang telah menyumbangkan ilmu

Dan tenaga2 pengajar

Mintak halal segala ilmu

Yang telah diberi dan dikongsi selama ini

Pada yang tidak secara langsung,

Mintak halal segala2…

Mungkin saya ada terpakai nama anda

Mungkin ada terambil hak peribadi anda

Saya mintak maaf,

Dan mintak halal kesemuanya

 

Memaafkan jauh lebih baik dari memohon maaf…

Oleh itu saya dengan ini memaafkan semua rakan2

Guru2,

Sahabat2,

Saudara-mara sedarah daging

Saudara-mara islam

Saya telah memaafkan kamu…

Jika ada terkurang terlebih,

Saya halalkan semua

Kalau ada hutang

Saya halalkan biarpun anda tak lupa..

Heks..

 

Last sekali,

Doakan saya selamat sampai rumah

Dan selamat hari raya

Saya akan off sampai 20 september

So harap sabar menanti

Dan

Maafkan saya

Jika anda tak dapat hubungi saya sepanjang saya bercuti

Kerana saya benci diganngu ketika di rumah

Harap faham..

Tapi kalau emergency,

Dan sangat2 memerlukan kehadiran saya

InsyaAllah

I'll be there

 

One last thing,

I miss my best friends

I miss my teachers

I miss my friends

Good or bad

And lastly

I'll be missing you

Please be good my prinses

You are the only prinses I had

Selamat pulang dan selamat bercuti

 

Ya Allah,

Tegarkan hati hambamu ini..

Amin…