~HolidaY~

Holiday. Comes again. Come and go. Just like winds. It come with full of hope, and gone with full of joy. We await for it, and without us realize it, it already gone. Holiday. A good day to spend with someone we love. With family. With friends. With lovers. With anybody who we see fit. Holiday. For me is a good day to spend for recovery. Yup, recovery. Recover some rest, recover some sleep, recover some strength, and recover some will. I wish holiday never ends.

 

Tired. Both of us tired. You know well how much I've done to get back to you. Not only that, I try my hardest to keep you on track. But you never will realize it. You don't even recognize it. You never want to know about it. I know, I should leave you alone. Long time ago, when you say those words to me. I'm sorry, I never realized that. Now both of us free, as we Malaysians celebrate the National Day, or Independence Day. But I never thought I am free. It just another holiday, come by and go the next morning.

 

That's life going. At least my live is like that. People are easily come and easily go. Come whenever they like, and go whenever I need them the most. For so long, I never opened my heart, myself to anyone too explosively. You are the one, and I really wish you are the one to light up my dark life, bring a shine to a dark soul and ray of hope to a broken soul like me. No one ever knows me behind my mask. I put up a great individual that really draws away people attention to my dark side, which only you the one only knows. Not my parent, not my sister, not my brother, not a teacher, and never will a good friend will know.

 

Lights, where are you? Those small lights I adore. They have a lot of other things to do, but they always care for me. I hate it when I feel like I snatch away their freedom from their live. All of you have been great to me, and I appreciate it. But I cannot live like this anymore. I never tired of chasing my light, but it seems the light never want me to get to her. Now, light ask me to leave her alone.

 

Light oh light. I wish you be there for me. Even you never approve me for being there for you, but you now it well where to find me. I thought I'm your problem solver, but I am your biggest trouble. Well I wish I never trouble you anymore. Good bye Light. You always be the Light in my heart, even I no longer live in a world of light. Our lives are totally different. You are Light, the ray of hope for everyone around you. I shouldn't have to get your ray of hope, because I'm forbidden now. I'm forbidden to get next to you.

 

This time, I really couldn't stand. My heart crumbles and I feel like my life already ruined. Just because of a Light, I feel my emptiness in my heart full of hope. Hope. The words that never has meaning to me anymore. But I still want to hope. Hoping for the day where Light are once again mine. But it never will happen, and both of us know. Just I never will to admit it. It happened long time before, before this holiday come. Just like holiday, you come and go. So this is the time, where I abide goodbye to you Light, and also to the world once I know, the world of light. Just like holiday, I came and now it's time for me to go.

 

Don't worry, I'll go, I'll leave you alone. Not that I will go on with my life, or will I stay on the right path. I'll be wandering around, in my dark world with an empty soul, playing with my own shadow, because I know my shadow are just like me, feel the pain deep down our heart and only shadow, my partner for the eternal life.

*GOODBYE LIGHT… I WISH I COULD SEE YOU AGAIN*